Happiness

“Is happiness the ultimate goal for marriage? Is there a greater purpose?” When I read this promotional statement about Gary Thomas’ new book, Sacred Marriage: Celebrating Marriage as a Spiritual Discipline, it sure grabbed my attention. I haven’t had the chance to buy the book yet but I did read some reviews on-line and many comments have sparked my thoughts. The concept seems to be that each partner in the marriage, the husband and the wife, should strive to reflect the character of God and to apply spiritual disciplines within the marriage rather than use the marriage union as the basis for our own personal fulfillment and happiness. As we strive for “marital holiness”, our happiness is a natural by-product.

So simple and yet so true. If I would focus my attention on being holy…loving like Christ loves, forgiving like Christ forgives, showing mercy, serving unselfishly, speaking with kindness, being content with wherever God has me, thinking of my husband more than I think of myself, showing compassion and consideration, allowing God to mold my mate rather than trying to mold him as I want him to be….who wouldn’t want to be married to me?

I believe the source of unhappiness in most marriages is wrapped in the package of “personal expectation”. We have an expectation of what we want our marriage to be…how we want to be treated….where we want to live….what duties our husband should fulfill….how we want to be loved and cherished…..what he owes us for what we do for him….what we deserve because of how wonderful we are…..mostly, we have an expectation of how he should make us feel. After all, isn’t love about feeling?